The Feel-good Trap How The Search For Happiness Is Keeping You Stuck In Your Shift (And What To Focus On Instead)

The Feel-good Trap How The Search For Happiness Is Keeping You Stuck In Your Shift (And What To Focus On Instead) Expert Advice > How to break out of analysis paralysis The Feel-good Trap: How The Search For Happiness Is Keeping You Stuck In Your Shift (And What To Focus On Instead) * Not happy â€" either with your current work, or with how your career change is going? Natasha explains why the way you understand happiness could be holding you back â€" and how a new perspective can speed up your shift. Are you happy? These days, it seems, there's no bigger question. The search for happiness has exploded into centre stage: in the academic world of science and philosophy, in the pop-psychology section of your local bookshop, and in general public consciousness. A Google search for 'happiness' yields 495,000,000 results. Amazon doesn't bother telling you exactly how many books you can buy on the topic; it stopped counting at 50,000. The pursuit of happiness has found its way into the workplace too, with companies hiring happiness consultants, creating happiness initiatives and appointing chief happiness officers. To live a happy life then, it seems, is our ultimate goal. And if you're seeking a career change, that likely has a lot to do with how happy â€" or not â€" you're feeling at work. The wrong end of the happiness stick The conversation around happiness is thousands of years old, with its roots in Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics. But the word is used today with a very specific definition â€" a version of the idea that's much narrower (and more fickle) than Aristotle was talking about. And that difference in understanding might actually be holding you back in your shift. Aristotle differentiated between two types of happiness: 1. Hedonic happiness: momentary joy, pleasure, and contentment in your life, and 2. Eudaimonic happiness: a sense of meaning, purpose, and fulfillment that makes you whole. Think of happiness today, and you think of hedonic happiness. In the media, it's everywhere. People in advertisements dance on their way to work. Romcoms end as soon as the couple enters the dopamine-flooded honeymoon period. It's all about heady bliss and excitement and joy. That's what life is supposed to be like, right? But hedonic happiness is only a tiny part of the picture. The trouble with hedonic happiness You'd think that with all this focus on hedonic happiness in our cultural conversations, there would be plenty of it around. But it doesn't actually seem to be all that effective. In fact, multiple experts argue that the search for it can actually stunt our ability to be happy in the present moment. And running after pleasure has some uncomfortable side effects, which will probably feel very familiar to you as a career changer. 1. Shame If you've bought in to the chase for happiness, then the discomfort of unhappiness gets multiplied. You're not just unhappy at work. You're unhappy about how unhappy you are. It can feel incredibly shameful; a dark secret that festers below the parapet of your day-to-day life. When I was in the midst of my career change, I was swamped by an overwhelming sense that I had got life fundamentally wrong. Not only had I chosen the wrong career (which I decided was a failure on my part), I was also now miserable. I had failed at my career, and I had failed to be happy â€" and being happy, it seemed from everything I could see around me, was the important thing to strive for in life. I berated myself constantly for my immaturity and lack of direction. I'd look at myself in the mirror with disbelief â€" how had I managed to go so off-track? So there you find yourself, blanketed under layer upon layer of sadness, and sadness about your sadness, and shame about your sadness… 2. Isolation Shame is secretive. In today's society, the 'sad' can rapidly become self-selected social pariahs. It's embarrassing to have failed at any big thing you're supposed to find; whether that'sa great career or a basic level of daily joy. So you isolate. You hide. You paste on a smile, you minimise, and you reserve your less chirpy emotions for the quiet moments. You lie in bed, with your head spinning in the darkness, trying to figure it out alone. Maybe you tell your friends, your partner, about how you're feeling. But in the back of your mind you're constantly worried about the impact that sharing these negative feelings is having. Are they fed up with you yet? Are you going to drive them away with your toxic sadness? What is an acceptable level of negativity to share over a meal with family? I know the feeling well. I pasted on a smile every morning at work. I told my friends I was 'fine', and 'good' whenever I saw them. I'd moan to my colleagues and my partner about my work, but I'd do it in a normal, good-natured way. It was rare I truly let anyone in on the depth of the despair I was feeling every morning. And that isolation kept me trapped. 3. Distraction You're unhappy. You're unhappy about the fact that you're unhappy. And your unhappiness about your unhappiness demands your attention. Your focus divides. Part of it is spent on looking for solutions to your career change. But the rest disappears down an endless black hole of focus on how you're feeling miserable and you shouldn't be. Why can't you figure this out? Why can't you find happiness? Why can't you just be positive? You beat yourself up. It takes energy. And it diverts your attention from what you're truly seeking. Or as Todd Kashdan, author of The Upside of Your Dark Side says: “There is a not-so-hidden prejudice against negative states, and the consequence of avoiding these states is that you inadvertently stunt your growth, maturity, adventure, and meaning and purpose in life.” 4. Numbness In 1972, after studying the isolated Fori tribe in Papua New Guinea, who were cut off from all external input, Paul Ekman and Wallace Friesen found that there are six basic emotions that are universal to all of humanity: Anger Disgust Fear Happiness Sadness, and Surprise. Perhaps you've noticed: only one of those six is an emotion that we currently view as 'positive'. The rest, according to modern society, are sensations to be avoided. Doesn't that seem strange? More recently, studies have concluded that Ekman's study was limited, and there are in fact 27 basic emotions, a greater number of which are perceived as positive. But whether there are six or 600 human emotions, if hedonic happiness is our ultimate goal, we're narrowing our field of acceptable experiences as human beings down to just one dimension. The pursuit of consistent hedonic pleasure requires that we reject the majority of what it means to be human. When I was making my career change, I felt ashamed of my negative emotions. I hid them from other people, but I also did my best to turn them off in myself. I'd try to 'shake off' my bad days, distract myself from the waves of sadness that flowed over me throughout the day. But as I numbed out those negative emotions, I realised I was actually numbing out everything. For a long while, I floated through my days, not-present and zombie-like, constantly afraid of another encounter with my own discomfort and pain. 5. Exhaustion The other issue with a focus on hedonic happiness is that, according to most psychologists, it's impossible to maintain. Psychologists call this phenomenon hedonic adaptation â€" the ideathat no matter how good something makes us feel, most of the time we drift back to where we started. One often-cited study showed that despite the initial joy of the win, lottery winners were no happier than non-winners 18 months later. During the late 1990s, psychologist Michael Eysenck referred to this as the “hedonic treadmill theory”; the idea that no matter what positive change is made in your life, at some point it will begin to feel like 'normality', and you'll start craving the next hedonic kick. The idea of a 'treadmill' certainly corresponded to my experience during my career change â€" the sensation that I was sprinting wildly toward something I craved, but never seemed to be making any real progress. I'd lie in bed at night, my mind spinning in circles. I'd hit upon a great idea (or so I thought), but then the next morning it would seem ridiculous and childish. I'd try to turn on my 'positive attitude' as I scrolled through job sites, but after six pages of trying to see opportunities where there were none, it would be gone as fast as it had arrived. So, if hedonic happiness is a red herring, what about eudaimonic happiness? And how can you apply it to your shift? Shift the focus to a different kind of happiness Eudaimonic happiness â€" the other angle on happiness Aristotle discussed â€" is a sense of meaning, purpose, and fulfillment that makes you whole. The idea of eudaimonia focuses on a well-lived life, irrespective of the emotional state of the person experiencing it. It's an unfamiliar idea for many of us, taught as we are that pure joy is the ultimate goal. But what would it be like if you paid the same attention to living fully as you did to being happy? To squeeze every drop out of every part of life, whether it included laughter or tears? To aim not for blissed-out, loved-up, but for used-up, well-rounded, and evenly spread? “It's a really odd thing that we're now seeing people saying, 'Write down three things that made you happy today before you go to sleep,' and 'Cheer up' and 'Happiness is our birthright,' and so on. “We're kind of teaching our kids that happiness is the default position â€" it's rubbish. Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure; all of those things which make us who we are. “Happiness and victory and fulfillment are nice little things that also happen to us, but they don't teach us much ... I'd like just for a year to have a moratorium on the word 'happiness' and to replace it with the word 'wholeness'. “Ask yourself: 'Is this contributing to my wholeness?' and if you're having a bad day, it is.” â€" Hugh Mackay, author of The Good Life Eudaimonia is a multifaceted and intense topic, which could be studied and explored for years. But for you, as a career changer, there are three powerful ways to start. 1. Welcome everything “Two types of avoidance cause problems for people: avoiding pleasure and avoiding pain….” â€" Todd Kashdan, author of The Upside of Your Dark Side The more you push away the discomfort you're feeling, the more it grows. So what might it be like to welcome it in? To 'embrace the suck'? And beyond just embracing it, to welcome it with interest and curiosity? What are these emotions telling you? Each and all of them? Beyond 'not-this', what can you learn from the precise moments that discomfort raises its head? When do you feel most contented, and what does that say about you? When do you feel most ill-at-ease, and what can you discover from that about what you want? Can you relish the experience of being in the 'wrong' career as a period of extreme growth and discovery? And what might happen if you allowed the people in your life to get in on what you're up to? The Sufi poet Rumi said it best: This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they are a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice. meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. Be grateful for whatever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. â€" Rumi, 'The Guest House' 2. Create variety If you're willing to welcome everything, and you still want to feel good wherever possible, well-known happiness experts Kennon Sheldon and Sonja Lyubomirsky found that variety is a powerful way to keep yourself off the hedonic treadmill. When your experiences are fresh or unexpected, you get a burst of energy and appreciation. When a positive experience is repetitive â€" when you know exactly what to expect â€" you don't get the same kick out of it. In other words, you'll feel better about a new friendship if the two of you spend time doing new things together, rather than going for coffee at the same place, at the same time, every week. You'll enjoy your new home more if you do new things in it, discovering it in a fresh light and creating new memories over and over again. You'll enjoy your career change more if you approach it in a multitude of ways, rather than just scrolling through the same job sites every day on your lunch break… And in terms of your career change, introducing variety doesn't just make you feel better about what you're doing. It's actually one of the most powerful things you can do to generate new ideas. “For the systems thinkers among you, it's a simple concept: new inputs = new outputs. “And for the more poetic types, there's the gorgeously gaited quotation: 'If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got.' “To come up with fresh, exciting possibilities for your future career, one that feels fulfilling and inspiring and right for you, it's time to start bringing in new inputs. You need to start seeing new sights; experiencing new things; looking at the world from new perspectives.” Read more here 3. Build personal projects Psychologist Brian Little marks a big distinction between the pursuit of happiness and what he calls 'the happiness of pursuit.' Over decades of research, Little has found that focusing on personal projects is a better measure of people's quality of life than their emotional states. “When people are asked to reflect upon their lives, it's one's appraisals of personal projects that seem to be the best predictor of a life well-lived.” Personal projects can take a huge range of forms: redecorating your kitchen, training for a marathon, writing a book, spending time with your children... They are what you choose to spend your time â€" to fill your life â€" with. And personal projects can also be powerful tools in moving us towards a more fulfilling career. At Careershifters, we call them Shift Projects. They're a chance to try new things â€" increasing the variety in your life â€" but they're also a chance to throw yourself into something that isn't your current career. Your personal projects are a behind-the-scenes secret just for you: something to look forward to at the end of the day, or something to be proud of having achieved that's yours and yours alone. And they help you gain clarity on the 'what' of what you might want to do next, and on the 'how', or the viability of your ideas. A focus on eudaimonic happiness isn't just a more realistic approach to life. It gets you closer to a fulfilling career, faster. Career change is a challenging process. Realising you're in the wrong line of work can be painful and scary, and trying to do something about it can be even tougher. But that's OK. You don't have to be blissfully happy all the time. You don't have to get it right every time. Nobody is, and nobody does. So give yourself a break â€" let yourself feel all the ways there are for you to feel. Play with them. And then learn from what you discover along the way. How could you start shifting your perspective on happiness, and use it to move your shift forward? Let me know in the comments below.

16 Ways to Use Redundancy to Your Advantage

16 Ways to Use Redundancy to Your Advantage Being made redundant  is often a challenging time and can come as a huge shock. Often it means making a  big life adjustment both practically and mentally, even if you knew  it was coming or requested it yourself. On the other hand, I also view it as a great opportunity to change or tweak the path that you are currently on. Most clients that I see have had some life-changing experience  that has enabled them to change direction or at least stop and evaluate what is the correct path for them moving forward. Redundancy is one of these times. My top tips on how to use redundancy to your advantage: 1. Use this opportunity to do something different This is the perfect time to start thinking about changing tact. This could be a small tweak to what you have been previously doing or a more significant change. 2. Don’t rush Use this time to reflect, analyse and think through what you are suited to and really what you would like to be doing next. Take your time rather than rushing into the next thing without thought and reflection. Could this be a good time to educate yourself by doing a course? 3. Do some self-awareness work What do you enjoy? What do you dislike? What are your strengths, values, interests, and motivators? Spend time on this as your first step. 4. Keep positive Have a positive frame of mind; it will make you more attractive. I have seen many people in this situation, it is a common occurrence for bright, talented individuals. You were recruited in the first place and will be again. Whilst you are looking do things you enjoy, that provide you with satisfaction and don’t forget to exercise. 5. Put the work in Dedicate scheduled time to focus on yourself and your next move. Work hard on presenting yourself well, preparing, researching and soul-searching. The work will pay off. 6. Use your network Your network is a brilliant place to explore who can help you. For information and for introductions, use it. Once you have worked out what you want to do next, speak to people in the area that you would like to go into. Most people who enjoy what they do are very happy to talk through their background and useful contacts and sources. 7. Build your experience If you are finding it is taking a while to find that right job for you, start building your experience. It is better not to go into something completely naïve and to have some knowledge and background on what will be involved. Volunteer, help out on a consultancy basis, do some temporary or contract work. If you can build experience in the area you want to move into. The benefits of experience and meeting people will assist you. Don’t wait to be found, get out there, be visible, don’t hide away. 8. Present yourself well This is a time to revamp yourself. Make sure your CV looks good and other documents look good. Your LinkedIn represents who you are and what you would like to do next. Pull out and highlight the most relevant experience to what you want to go on to do next. Match key words from job specs to your CV and LinkedIn profile (if you have the experience). 9. Use LinkedIn This is one of the best tools to assist you in the process. Make sure you have at least six recommendations on LinkedIn. People who are recruiting are likely to look at them.  Join and use agencies Get to know key consultants at agencies or headhunters. They will then think of you first when a suitable opportunity arises. 10. Do your research Do your research and lots of it. On the industry you are targeting, the market, on individuals who have done well in your field, on agencies, groups, companies in your field, blogs, relevant meet ups and conferences the list goes on. Once you are at interview stage continue with this level of research. Research the company through their website, social media, google on press, other background sites e.g glass door. Research its people, the person interviewing you, their recruitment process, their position in the market, future plans or any news relating to them. 11. Interview well Practice and prepare. Familiarise yourself with the format and what will be involved. Buy a book to assist you if you are rusty or hire a coach if you feel you need it to be on  top of your game and to stand out from the competition. 12. Have an elevator pitch Be sure when you are meeting with others what your experience is and what you are now looking for. Once people know this they may recommend you to others. Practice this with confidence. 13. Be focused Being clear on what you want is key to moving forward. Before any of the groundwork or meeting people it is important to stop and evaluate yourself. As you progress there will be some small changes and avenues that open up along the way but it is important to have a focus before you start. 14. Focus on what you want Really think about what you now want, not what you think you should do or what others might expect of you. What do you want? Listen to your intuition on what feels right for you at this time. 15. Look at the clues Look closely at and analyse what you have done in the past. List all of the jobs you have ever done and identify those aspects you have enjoyed, what you disliked and what provided most work satisfaction.  Don’t undervalue yourself or underestimate yourself. 16. Find a mentor Find someone you trust, respect and value the opinion of to talk to when needed. To assist you with thinking through what you would like to do next Charlotte Billington’s recently written book What to do Next? (which is available on Amazon.co.uk) has worked successfully for those who find themselves in a redundancy situation. The book has also recently been given to employees from HR as part of the outplacement package that they provide. About the author: Charlotte Billington is a career coach who helps individuals  at this crossroads. She has recently written a practical exercise book and outplacement tool,  What to do Next?  (available on Amazon) that can guide  HR and individuals  through the redundancy process.

Two Awesome Hours

Two Awesome Hours Have you ever had one of those days? You have something big you need to do â€" prepare for an important presentation, create an outline for a critical report, or get ready for a challenging meeting. You know it’s the most important thing on your to-do list today (maybe for the whole week), but the day just gets away from you. First, you sit down to “answer just a couple of emails.” The next time you look up, and hour has flown by. Then a colleague steps in to ask “a quick question.” That eats up another 20 minutes. Then you get called into a meeting that lasts 45 minutes and does not accomplish anything. Before you know it, half your day is gone, and you haven’t touched your priority project. That’s the focus of Two Awesome Hours  by Josh Davis. He tackles the tough subject of how to get things done as a human being. Machines are so much more efficient, he says. “Computers and machines don’t get tired, so the quality of work is identical every time they are used. Using them more frequently will only lead to greater productivity and efficiency. But, of course, we’re not computers or machines. We are biological creatures. Continually demanding one kind of workâ€"and a consistent level of effectivenessâ€"from our brains is like continually demanding the same speed from a runner under any circumstancesâ€"whether sprinting or competing in a marathon, or whether running with no sleep after fasting for a day, jogging after recovering from a hangover, or exercising after being fed and rested.” In other words, we’ve got our work cut out for us. The good news is,, we shouldn’t try to stay at maximum productivity for long periods. Davis writes that trying to be efficient all the time will block us from harnessing the vast potential we have for creative thinking. Instead, we should aim for two productive hours at a time at maximum efficiency. Then, we should take a break and move on to something else. Any time after two hours is probably wasted. That’s the good news. The bad news is we’re really bad at managing even two productive hours in a workday. Davis writes about science-based principles for channeling your productivity so you can get the most important things done. He spends a lot of time on decision points: those micro moments between tasks where we can keep functioning on automatic pilot or take a second to decide, purposefully and mindfully, what to do next. Autopilot probably takes us on to the next email or phone message without thinking. Our brains are remarkably efficient; we can complete a whole grooming routine, drive home, or routine business process without much conscious thought. “Much of what we do each day is automatic and guided by habit, requiring little conscious awareness, and that’s not a bad thing…. Once you started answering e-mails, the neural routines started running and you couldn’t stop until something snapped you out of it,” Davis writes. We waste lots of productive time because we don’t notice it passing, Davis says. “Hurrying through one decision pointâ€"in between tasksâ€"might save five minutes. Starting on the wrong task may cost an hour. But the five minutes hurts more because we’re so aware of every second, while during the lost hour we’re mostly on autopilot, so it hurts less.” The key to more effectiveness is to train yourself to recognize your decision points and snap yourself out of autopilot mode. Take a moment to decide what task is most important to do at that moment. Davis writes, “Being intentional about what you plan to do immediately after you finish a task makes all the difference in the world in terms of how well you use whatever amount of time you have in front of you.”